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The Deadline for Plastic Sporks

If you enjoy a single-use spork a deadline has been set. Single-use plastic plates, trays and cutlery are set to be banned from October.

It’s hard to think of anyone who would be upset by this. Even if you don’t like saving the planet, Greta or her mean email addresses, you surely don’t like plastic cutlery. It was almost next to useless.

It is often the case that the food you’re trying to cut was actually harder than the plastic knife you were trying to use. There’s a chance that’s because I go to the kind of cafe that sells food that was made three days ago but the plastic knife wasn’t helping.

The plastic fork is no better. There was always a 50-50 chance that you wouldn’t drive your tines into the food but snap one off and launch it at great speed. To eat with a plastic fork you really should wear safety goggles but that means using even more plastic.

The spork is even worse. If you didn’t know, it’s a cross between a spoon and a fork. The spoon, an item that needs to be able to hold a fluid, and the fork, something with holes in it.

Some sporks even have a knife part on the side. So that’s a spoon, that you can put in your mouth, where one edge is serrated and sharp like a knife. You might as well combine barbed wire and chewing gum.

The plastic plate, however, is actually better than a pottery one as it survives longer at a Greek wedding.

When the ban comes in we will not be able to get these items from retailers, takeaways and food vendors. When the ban on carrier bags came in we had to start carrying our bags for life. Is the presumption now that we will travel with a set of cutlery and crockery in case a meal breaks out?

I already do, but if everyone else starts doing it at least it won’t make me look so greedy.

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